As a parent of a child with Autism, you’ve likely experienced moments when someone comments on your child’s behaviour. Whether the comment is curious, well-meaning, or unintentionally insensitive, it can be challenging to navigate these interactions in a way that protects your child’s dignity while educating others.
Here are practical tips for responding to comments about your child’s behaviour, helping you turn potentially awkward moments into opportunities for understanding and connection.
1. Pause and Assess the Situation
Before responding, take a moment to evaluate the comment and its context. Is the person genuinely curious? Do they seem judgmental or just uninformed? Your response can be tailored based on the tone and intent of the comment.
Example: If someone says, “Why is your child doing that?” consider whether they are genuinely asking to understand or making a judgmental remark.
2. Use the Moment to Educate (If You’re Comfortable)
Some comments provide an opportunity to educate others about Autism and your child’s unique needs. This approach helps dispel misconceptions and fosters greater understanding.
What to Say: “My child has Autism, and sometimes they use behaviours like this to express themselves or feel more comfortable in their environment.”
Why It Works: This response is simple, informative, and invites understanding without overwhelming the other person.
3. Set Boundaries When Needed
Not every comment deserves an explanation. If someone’s remark feels intrusive or inappropriate, it’s okay to set firm boundaries.
What to Say: “Thank you for your concern, but this is how my child expresses themselves. Thanks for understanding."
Why It Works: This politely shifts the focus away from your child while maintaining your boundaries.
4. Respond with Confidence
When you’re confident in your response, you model self-assurance for your child and signal to others that their behaviour is nothing to be ashamed of.
What to Say: “They’re just being themselves, and that’s perfectly okay.”
Why It Works: A confident tone reinforces the idea that your child’s behaviour is natural and not up for critique.
5. Offer Quick Responses for Public Situations
In public settings, a quick response can defuse awkward moments without drawing too much attention.
What to Say: “They’re having a moment. Thanks for your patience.”
Why It Works: This keeps the situation light and polite while subtly signalling that no further discussion is needed.
6. Show Compassion for Yourself
Remember, you’re not obligated to explain your child’s behaviour to everyone. It’s okay to prioritize your own comfort and that of your child.
What to Say: A smile or a simple “Thanks for understanding” can be enough to end the conversation.
Why It Works: You’re maintaining your emotional energy while modelling self-care for your child.
7. Teach Your Child to Respond (If Appropriate)
As your child grows older, they might encounter comments themselves. Teaching them simple, empowering responses can help build their confidence.
Example: “This is just how I do things, and that’s okay.”
Why It Works: It equips your child with a positive, self-assured way to handle questions or comments.
Responding to comments about your child’s behaviour can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to advocate for your child and educate others. Whether you choose to educate, set boundaries, or keep things brief, the most important thing is to respond in a way that aligns with your values and protects your child’s dignity.
At Virtual Behaviour Services, we understand the unique challenges parents face and are here to support you every step of the way. If you’re looking for additional resources or strategies, feel free to reach out to us.
Together, we can create a more inclusive and understanding world for your child.

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