Things You Never Need to Apologize for as an Autism Parent

Parenting comes with plenty of unsolicited opinions. When you're parenting an Autistic individual, it can sometimes feel like you have to explain, defend or apologize for every decision you make. But your family doesn't have to meet someone else's expectations to deserve understanding. And you don't have to justify every choice you make to support your loved one.

Here are a few things you can stop apologizing for.

1. They're not saying hello.

They don't owe anyone a conversation, eye contact or a greeting. You can support social skills without forcing someone to perform them on demand.

2. You brought different food.

Maybe they won't eat what's being served. Maybe you packed their favourite snacks before leaving the house. Either way, making sure they have something to eat isn't something you need to explain or apologize for.

3. You need to leave early.

You know your loved one. You might recognize when they've had enough before anyone else notices. Leaving a birthday party, family gathering or public event early doesn't mean you've failed to make the experience work.

4. They need a break.

Maybe it's a quiet room, headphones, time alone or a familiar activity. They don't have to reach a breaking point before you make space for them to regroup.

5. They're not following the same timeline as everyone else.

People develop differently, and progress doesn't always look the way others expect. You don't owe anyone a comparison, an explanation or an update on their milestones.

6. You said no.

No to the crowded event. No to the extra activity. No to the family tradition that doesn't work for your family right now. You are allowed to make decisions based on what works for your family, even when other people would make a different choice.

7. You're doing things differently.

Maybe your holiday traditions look different. Maybe outings require more planning. Maybe your family has found its own routines, accommodations and ways of doing things. Different doesn't mean wrong.

A little reminder for families

You are allowed to make decisions that support your loved one without making everyone else understand them first.

And for the people around these families? Sometimes the most supportive thing you can say is simply, “No problem. What works best for you?"